Tipsy Toast or Tasteful Toast?

*Clink! Clink! Clink!*

I’ve been to more than 350 weddings, so I’ve heard roughly 900 wedding speeches. Believe me when I tell you that these toasts are hardly ever among the memorable highlights of a wedding, especially the ode delivered by the best man. Outside of presidential campaigns, rarely is so much thought and nervous energy applied to a speech that doesn’t move the intended audience one bit. Occasionally a best man or father of the bride will deliver a speech that is heartfelt, funny, and touching, but most of the time they sound like the opening monologue at a televised awards show. There’s a reason why speaking in public is the Number One Phobia of the human race (more than the fear of heights, spiders, or broccoli). It’s because almost everyone is really bad at it.

Wedding speeches are given by a variety of toasters: a bridesmaid who wants some attention, a best man who tries to embarrass the groom (and ends up embarrassing everyone), a father who thinks he should have been a professional comedian, or any amateur who’s had a little too much champagne.

There’s a good chance you will witness an inappropriate toast, or even the occasional dueling bridesmaid speeches like in the movie clip below. Make sure you have someone assigned to step in and call a halt to the proceedings if they get out of hand. 

There are three things all toasters should remember:

1. The wedding is about the bride and groom, not about you.
2. Material should be appropriate for your audience. (Are the kiddies and grannies still around?)
3. Secrets should remain secrets. That’s why they were secret in the first place.

The Art of Manliness has 10 tips on creating the best best man speech. If you’re panicked for lack of material, look here.

Don’t let this blog post scare you, as sometimes your terrified best man will overcome his jitters to deliver a real gem of a toast. When it happens, you’ll know. You and your guests will be laughing, crying, and smiling – all at the same time.

My Pinterest has more wedding tips!