Fantasy Isn’t Just For Football.
Now that the Big Game is history, it’s time to turn our attention back to the second most popular contact sport in America: wedding planning. Just kidding, but occasionally the stress can feel like a blindside hit from Ray Lewis. So relax, and think about throwing an All-American wedding using your favorite sport as your theme.
It all begins with a proposal on a football field, with a couple in jerseys and tennis shoes. If you’re at a major stadium, you can even arrange to have that special moment displayed on the Jumbotron for all sixty thousand of your new best friends to see. (I’ve always wondered what happens if the prospective bride says no. Fifteen yard penalty?) Then the planning starts. Are you going to schedule the wedding for a game day? Not unless you don’t mind having most of the guests hanging out in the bar, glued to the TV. I once photographed a wedding reception that was just about completely ruined because the couple’s beloved baseball team was getting slaughtered by their archrival in a playoff game being televised in the bar. Lots of photos of people literally crying in their beer (Bud Light, just for the occasion). In the happy ending department, the wedding took place anyway and the local nine went on to win the series. Dreams really do come true.
Your ceremony can begin with the national anthem, and there should be a field nearby so your photographer can take pictures of your wedding party playing football. I’ve seen it done more than once, but you have to make sure you have enough attendants to make a game of it. I did a wedding where the bride and groom each had nine, and when I joked that they had enough for a baseball game, they said that’s exactly why they did it.
And if you want to go the whole nine yards (sorry), you’ll need football inspired wedding attire. The officiant should be wearing black and white stripes, the bride’s shoes could be sequined cleats and the garter can sport your team’s logo. The groom will be wearing his lucky game-day socks, the same pair he wears every Sunday afternoon in the fall.
What better way to enter your reception than with a bride and groom touchdown dance? When you hit the dance floor, the DJ will rock classic fight songs.
There should be plenty of bad beer, since that’s a tradition in most stadiums. And you can cover everything else in Velveeta: the nachos, the burgers, the pigs in a blanket. (Should save a bundle on the catering bill, and there’s nothing like chowing down with your buddies over a few brewskis.)
But there is one big difference. As a famous NFL running back said when asked about the Super Bowl, “If this is the ultimate game, how come there’s another one next year?” For you, there really is no next season, so dance with who brung ya!
I Just Want It To Be Perfect 
Reblogged this on ARZcreation.com.
A little absurd, but well written!
There’s no limit to the absurdities out there. Thanks for writing, and I hope you enjoyed it.