“Perfect” Is A Fantasy. Reality Is Much More Interesting.

Just clouds, or rain on the way?  Whatever happens, you’ll get married and have a great time.

Okay, as we plunge headlong into peak wedding season, let’s get this one out of the way immediately. NOTHING. IS. EVER. PERFECT.  Seriously, has anything ever been perfect?  I’ve seen so many brides, mothers, sisters, maids of honor, and even ancient aunts ruin their makeup with anguished tears as they reach for that unattainable mirage of perfection forced on them by the Wedding Industrial Complex.  They would be so much better off taking what real life serves up and enjoying it as it comes, whether it fits in the grand plan or not.

You know what might be a good idea? As soon as you start getting into wedding-planning-crazy mode (anywhere from a year to two weeks before the Big Day, whatever works for you), make a point to stand in front of your mirror and repeat this to yourself at least five times. It won’t take you to Kansas, but it might snap you back a little closer to reality.

Of course you want everything to be wonderful. It’s your day. Most of us get stressed enough about the nuances of planning and pulling off a successful office party – the effort that goes into a wedding can be enough to fry the rational processing abilities of even the most well-adjusted lady. You’re totally within your rights to panic about the difference between periwinkle and baby blue, and to demand that everyone around you treat this as a completely normal cause of anxiety.

But here’s the thing: like I said oh, about three sentences ago, it’s YOUR day. It doesn’t belong to your mother, it certainly doesn’t belong to your mother-in-law, and it definitely has nothing to do with your friend who always shows up to weddings in a dress better suited for a club in Seaside Heights. You’re getting married. You’re spending the rest of your life with the person waiting for you at the end of that aisle – not with your flower arrangement. Of those two, it’s far more important that one show up all in one piece, with the proper accessories, than the other. You get one guess which it is.  And you want him or her to stick around a lot longer than your bouquet.

Are those roses white, ivory, bone, cream, or champagne? Who cares? They’re beautiful, and so are you.

The only thing that matters is: did you have a good time, and (if you’re feeling generous) did your new spouse have a good time? If you did, everyone else did. There’s almost certainly a law (Martha Stewart’s Third Law of Nuptial Bliss?) dictating that the guests’ enjoyment must reflect – but not surpass – that of the bride.

Remind yourself of this when you’re spending that quality time with your mirror (there will be a lot of that in the next few months, so you might as well make the best of it). And it probably couldn’t hurt to suggest that your mother do it, too.

So one more time, all together now: Nothing, is ever, perfect. (Except for perfect games, but your wedding is presumably not a baseball game. If however for some magical reason it is, I would very much like to be invited.)

My Pinterest and Facebook  aren’t perfect, but they’re close!